Guest Buzzzz -- Courtesy of Stacey Klemstein

The Green Bee asked me to write about what I know now that I wish I'd known in college. And me being me, I can never resist a chance to check my hindsight--yep, still perfect. : ) (Funny note, I never understood that saying about hindsight being 20/20 until I saw it written out and realized it was "sight" and not "site." Yeah, I know.)

Anyway...

I wish I'd known in college that:

I could pursue my dreams from the beginning. Back then, writing was something I did for papers and such. Writing fiction seemed like a distant dream. Something other more talented people did because it was easy for them. It was not easy for me, so therefore, it must not be something I could do. Oy. It kills me to think about all the time I lost, all the learning I could have done about my craft ten years earlier.

Corporate America was not a good fit for me. By the time senior year rolled around, I was so ready to be DONE. I wanted a job in Corporate America. Wanted to wear a suit and carry a briefcase. I imagined making smart, incisive comments in meetings, using my talent to communicate significant information in a friendly and helpful manner to people, and being promoted to the corner office in record time. I did NOT imagine meetings with little or no purpose other than to fill calendar hours, using my talent to communicate useless information in legally approved but inaccessible language, and sitting in a cube for years...with 3% raises.

Now, lest you think that my experience has disillusioned me, I must say that even if I were now granted my original vision of corporate life, I would run screaming in the opposite direction. At the time, I didn't know enough about myself or what truly made me feel like I was living. I guess that's why my dad says life is an experience, not a test. Thank God, or I'd have flunked.

Still, I wish I known all of this before I got used to things like a stable salary, benefits and other luxuries. It would have made this transition I'm working on (to being a full-time author) a lot easier!

The comfort and sense of community I felt from living so closely with my friends would be difficult to replicate after graduation and hard to obtain elsewhere. As a kid, I moved. A lot. About every three to four years, I'd be starting a new school. I got used to always being the new kid. That horrible tense feeling in the pit of your stomach when you walk into a new school, not knowing a single other person in the building. Trying to figure out who you are in the context of these new surroundings.

Never in my life have I ever felt so safe, accepted and loved as I did when I was living at Valpo. I was weird and awkward and prone to saying stupid things at the wrong time, but people still liked me…or at least, tolerated me with grace! Being different was okay. Expected even. Not to mention, my parents were still paying most of the bills, I didn't have to worry about anybody else but me, and lots of people I cared about and who cared about me lived less than twenty feet away, accessible just about any time. It's different being a "grown-up." More responsibility, less community. More worries, less fun. More freedom in some senses and less in others.

I was excited for graduation. All the way until the night before. Then, it hit me that I was leaving, closing a door on something I'd loved. I threw up that night for the first time in all four years, just from the nerves and anxiety. : )

Doing bad things (i.e. non-parentally approved activities) doesn't make you a bad person and sometimes it’s fun...in moderation. In other words, drink more and worry less! I come from a very conservative family. There is no making mistakes. No trying something out to see if you like it, if it fits you. There is only doing something and doing it well. And not doing things that will "mess up" your life. Can't say I disagree with that entirely, but I think a little more exploration then, in a relatively safe environment where everyone was trying to figure out who they were, would have made me more worldly and less frightened of the unknown.

Naps are scarce after college. I would have taken more! Nothing like sinking into your bed (after pulling back the fully tightened and attached-with-a-staple-gun sheets--only one person is going to get that and he knows who he is) with gritty and dry eyes after an eight a.m. class and sleeping until you feel human. Listening to the sounds of the dorm and life moving on around you as you drift off. What a delicious luxury. Naps—oh, how I miss thee!

I should appreciate the experience more, savor it. I love learning, intellectual discussion and analysis. Not much room for that in everyday life. No three a.m. discussions about the nature of free will and the existence of God. I miss that. Things just move too quickly out here.

This has been the Buzzz from Stacey K!

And this is the Green Bee herself -- saying a huge THANK YOU to my awesome friend Stacey for that kick-ass post! I'll be back posting soon...my muse has been out of whack. But I've ordered more whack...should arrive any day.

GB