That's all I can bring myself to write...the title of this blog...after today's hellacious commute home. I love chi-town (insert bitter sarcastic self-effacing tone for choosing to stay in the midwest here). Ciao (if only we were in Italy).
Green and freezing B.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Guest Buzzzz -- Courtesy of Stacey Klemstein
The Green Bee asked me to write about what I know now that I wish I'd known in college. And me being me, I can never resist a chance to check my hindsight--yep, still perfect. : ) (Funny note, I never understood that saying about hindsight being 20/20 until I saw it written out and realized it was "sight" and not "site." Yeah, I know.)
Anyway...
I wish I'd known in college that:
I could pursue my dreams from the beginning. Back then, writing was something I did for papers and such. Writing fiction seemed like a distant dream. Something other more talented people did because it was easy for them. It was not easy for me, so therefore, it must not be something I could do. Oy. It kills me to think about all the time I lost, all the learning I could have done about my craft ten years earlier.
Corporate America was not a good fit for me. By the time senior year rolled around, I was so ready to be DONE. I wanted a job in Corporate America. Wanted to wear a suit and carry a briefcase. I imagined making smart, incisive comments in meetings, using my talent to communicate significant information in a friendly and helpful manner to people, and being promoted to the corner office in record time. I did NOT imagine meetings with little or no purpose other than to fill calendar hours, using my talent to communicate useless information in legally approved but inaccessible language, and sitting in a cube for years...with 3% raises.
Now, lest you think that my experience has disillusioned me, I must say that even if I were now granted my original vision of corporate life, I would run screaming in the opposite direction. At the time, I didn't know enough about myself or what truly made me feel like I was living. I guess that's why my dad says life is an experience, not a test. Thank God, or I'd have flunked.
Still, I wish I known all of this before I got used to things like a stable salary, benefits and other luxuries. It would have made this transition I'm working on (to being a full-time author) a lot easier!
The comfort and sense of community I felt from living so closely with my friends would be difficult to replicate after graduation and hard to obtain elsewhere. As a kid, I moved. A lot. About every three to four years, I'd be starting a new school. I got used to always being the new kid. That horrible tense feeling in the pit of your stomach when you walk into a new school, not knowing a single other person in the building. Trying to figure out who you are in the context of these new surroundings.
Never in my life have I ever felt so safe, accepted and loved as I did when I was living at Valpo. I was weird and awkward and prone to saying stupid things at the wrong time, but people still liked me…or at least, tolerated me with grace! Being different was okay. Expected even. Not to mention, my parents were still paying most of the bills, I didn't have to worry about anybody else but me, and lots of people I cared about and who cared about me lived less than twenty feet away, accessible just about any time. It's different being a "grown-up." More responsibility, less community. More worries, less fun. More freedom in some senses and less in others.
I was excited for graduation. All the way until the night before. Then, it hit me that I was leaving, closing a door on something I'd loved. I threw up that night for the first time in all four years, just from the nerves and anxiety. : )
Doing bad things (i.e. non-parentally approved activities) doesn't make you a bad person and sometimes it’s fun...in moderation. In other words, drink more and worry less! I come from a very conservative family. There is no making mistakes. No trying something out to see if you like it, if it fits you. There is only doing something and doing it well. And not doing things that will "mess up" your life. Can't say I disagree with that entirely, but I think a little more exploration then, in a relatively safe environment where everyone was trying to figure out who they were, would have made me more worldly and less frightened of the unknown.
Naps are scarce after college. I would have taken more! Nothing like sinking into your bed (after pulling back the fully tightened and attached-with-a-staple-gun sheets--only one person is going to get that and he knows who he is) with gritty and dry eyes after an eight a.m. class and sleeping until you feel human. Listening to the sounds of the dorm and life moving on around you as you drift off. What a delicious luxury. Naps—oh, how I miss thee!
I should appreciate the experience more, savor it. I love learning, intellectual discussion and analysis. Not much room for that in everyday life. No three a.m. discussions about the nature of free will and the existence of God. I miss that. Things just move too quickly out here.
This has been the Buzzz from Stacey K!
And this is the Green Bee herself -- saying a huge THANK YOU to my awesome friend Stacey for that kick-ass post! I'll be back posting soon...my muse has been out of whack. But I've ordered more whack...should arrive any day.
GB
Anyway...
I wish I'd known in college that:
I could pursue my dreams from the beginning. Back then, writing was something I did for papers and such. Writing fiction seemed like a distant dream. Something other more talented people did because it was easy for them. It was not easy for me, so therefore, it must not be something I could do. Oy. It kills me to think about all the time I lost, all the learning I could have done about my craft ten years earlier.
Corporate America was not a good fit for me. By the time senior year rolled around, I was so ready to be DONE. I wanted a job in Corporate America. Wanted to wear a suit and carry a briefcase. I imagined making smart, incisive comments in meetings, using my talent to communicate significant information in a friendly and helpful manner to people, and being promoted to the corner office in record time. I did NOT imagine meetings with little or no purpose other than to fill calendar hours, using my talent to communicate useless information in legally approved but inaccessible language, and sitting in a cube for years...with 3% raises.
Now, lest you think that my experience has disillusioned me, I must say that even if I were now granted my original vision of corporate life, I would run screaming in the opposite direction. At the time, I didn't know enough about myself or what truly made me feel like I was living. I guess that's why my dad says life is an experience, not a test. Thank God, or I'd have flunked.
Still, I wish I known all of this before I got used to things like a stable salary, benefits and other luxuries. It would have made this transition I'm working on (to being a full-time author) a lot easier!
The comfort and sense of community I felt from living so closely with my friends would be difficult to replicate after graduation and hard to obtain elsewhere. As a kid, I moved. A lot. About every three to four years, I'd be starting a new school. I got used to always being the new kid. That horrible tense feeling in the pit of your stomach when you walk into a new school, not knowing a single other person in the building. Trying to figure out who you are in the context of these new surroundings.
Never in my life have I ever felt so safe, accepted and loved as I did when I was living at Valpo. I was weird and awkward and prone to saying stupid things at the wrong time, but people still liked me…or at least, tolerated me with grace! Being different was okay. Expected even. Not to mention, my parents were still paying most of the bills, I didn't have to worry about anybody else but me, and lots of people I cared about and who cared about me lived less than twenty feet away, accessible just about any time. It's different being a "grown-up." More responsibility, less community. More worries, less fun. More freedom in some senses and less in others.
I was excited for graduation. All the way until the night before. Then, it hit me that I was leaving, closing a door on something I'd loved. I threw up that night for the first time in all four years, just from the nerves and anxiety. : )
Doing bad things (i.e. non-parentally approved activities) doesn't make you a bad person and sometimes it’s fun...in moderation. In other words, drink more and worry less! I come from a very conservative family. There is no making mistakes. No trying something out to see if you like it, if it fits you. There is only doing something and doing it well. And not doing things that will "mess up" your life. Can't say I disagree with that entirely, but I think a little more exploration then, in a relatively safe environment where everyone was trying to figure out who they were, would have made me more worldly and less frightened of the unknown.
Naps are scarce after college. I would have taken more! Nothing like sinking into your bed (after pulling back the fully tightened and attached-with-a-staple-gun sheets--only one person is going to get that and he knows who he is) with gritty and dry eyes after an eight a.m. class and sleeping until you feel human. Listening to the sounds of the dorm and life moving on around you as you drift off. What a delicious luxury. Naps—oh, how I miss thee!
I should appreciate the experience more, savor it. I love learning, intellectual discussion and analysis. Not much room for that in everyday life. No three a.m. discussions about the nature of free will and the existence of God. I miss that. Things just move too quickly out here.
This has been the Buzzz from Stacey K!
And this is the Green Bee herself -- saying a huge THANK YOU to my awesome friend Stacey for that kick-ass post! I'll be back posting soon...my muse has been out of whack. But I've ordered more whack...should arrive any day.
GB
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Are You Suggesting That Coconuts Migrate?
Feeling kind of silly today. Thought it only appropriate to begin today's blog with a silly title, one that pays to homage to my favorite (and truth be told, the only one I like) Monty Python movie. Other gems from said flick that I quote (often, at random, and many times out loud to the bewilderment of those around me include: "Fight like a man"; "It's merely a flesh wound"; "I'm not dead"; "I got better"; and the classic "Bring me a shrubbery!"
Ok, so you get that I have a highly sarcastic humor threshold. In life I find it either serves me well, or gets me in trouble (depending on the day). I must take this moment to say YEA! Why, you ask? Because it appears there was a reason behind my the Sunday morning hijinks I copped to in my previous post -- I was getting sick. Not a half hour after writing that post, I came down with a bitch of a cold. Not one to complain while sick, I'd rather celebrate after the fact. Huge shout out for wellness! Ok, enough crazy talk.
I have this awesome new tear-off calendar (Christmas gift from my talented amiga Stacey K.) called "Getting in Touch with your Inner Bitch." It contains an great mix of motivational thoughts, snarky comments and amusing quotes. Here's my favorite snarky comment so far, under the heading An Inner Bitch History Lesson: "On this date in 1697, Massachusetts colony officially regretted the Salem witch hunt with a day of fasting. Yeah, that makes up for everything..." LOVE it! Especially when I think, hey, what if those theories about moldy bread are right? I mean, they wouldn't be eating anyway...pretty convenient.
Ok, some random thoughts to end this random blog:
Ok, so you get that I have a highly sarcastic humor threshold. In life I find it either serves me well, or gets me in trouble (depending on the day). I must take this moment to say YEA! Why, you ask? Because it appears there was a reason behind my the Sunday morning hijinks I copped to in my previous post -- I was getting sick. Not a half hour after writing that post, I came down with a bitch of a cold. Not one to complain while sick, I'd rather celebrate after the fact. Huge shout out for wellness! Ok, enough crazy talk.
I have this awesome new tear-off calendar (Christmas gift from my talented amiga Stacey K.) called "Getting in Touch with your Inner Bitch." It contains an great mix of motivational thoughts, snarky comments and amusing quotes. Here's my favorite snarky comment so far, under the heading An Inner Bitch History Lesson: "On this date in 1697, Massachusetts colony officially regretted the Salem witch hunt with a day of fasting. Yeah, that makes up for everything..." LOVE it! Especially when I think, hey, what if those theories about moldy bread are right? I mean, they wouldn't be eating anyway...pretty convenient.
Ok, some random thoughts to end this random blog:
- Why the heck don't they make a tylenol or advil patch for times when you desperately need medication, but can't keep solids or liquids down?
- Who got the bright idea to come up with "sticky keys"? You know, that annoying function that mysteriously takes over your computer if you hit the shift key five times in a row. I'm a writer...I often go to start a sentence with a capital letter (craziness, I know) and, because I can't decide how said sentence should start, I get the sticky keyed. Arrgh. (Ok, is it wrong that the phrase sticky keys somehow reminded me of Phoebe's song "Smelly Cat"...you remember FRIENDS right?...and now I've got "Sticky keys, sticky keys, why are they typing you?" in my head?)
- American Idol is back on. Laughter and mocking abound.
That's all the buzzz that's fit to blog. Time to go eat dinner. For those of you who know me, you know that's code for time to go nuke something in the microwave that I didn't cook because I never ever EVER cook :) A snarky evening to all, and to all a good night.
GB
Sunday, January 13, 2008
I Love Football
For some reason, I've very much been looking forward to watching the playoff games this weekend. I love football...I'm not a crazed fan of any one team (I love my Bears, but I always admit that they're dunces most of the time)...I just love the season and knowing on the weekend I can turn on a game and just watch. My mom loves football...and I grew up watching it with her. I'm not sure if she watched yesterday, but I was heartily disappointed and a little in awe about Green Bay's victory and, I have to admit, a little sad that New England is still undefeated. Will the Colts and Dallas win today? Time will tell...
For some reason I woke up at 6:30 this morning and could not fall back asleep. Whenver I'm up way too early on a weekend morning, I get a bit disoriented for the rest of the day. Like, this morning in the shower I decided to squeeze shampoo onto the washcloth instead of actualy soap. That was interesting. Then soon after, in the course of getting dressed, when I went to put mositurizing lotion on my arms I, instead, slathered liquid hand soap (albeit awesome warm sugar vanilla soap from Bath and Body Works...love that stuff, when used for its intended purpose, that is) all over me. *Sigh*
Friday night I ended up going to my sister's house for dinner. We're eight years apart (I'm younger) and for reasons I won't go into right now, didn't see each other for a long stretch of time spanning most of the middle of our lives. So now when I see her with her kids and see what an awesome person and mother and wife and woman she is, I can't help but wish we could turn time back so I can see the journey she went through to get there. It's like a blackout...I remember her as a young teenager...and I know her now. It's like I blinked and we grew up. Just like that. But she's one of my favorite people now, as is my other sister who is ten years older than me and likewise as awesome, and I'm just glad I get to see them now :)
This isn't a pithy or sarcastic post. Sorry about that. I think pithy and sarcastic stayed in bed, knowing full well how idiotic it is to get up at 6:30 a.m. ON A SUNDAY. Oy.
Happy football watching!!
Green Bee
For some reason I woke up at 6:30 this morning and could not fall back asleep. Whenver I'm up way too early on a weekend morning, I get a bit disoriented for the rest of the day. Like, this morning in the shower I decided to squeeze shampoo onto the washcloth instead of actualy soap. That was interesting. Then soon after, in the course of getting dressed, when I went to put mositurizing lotion on my arms I, instead, slathered liquid hand soap (albeit awesome warm sugar vanilla soap from Bath and Body Works...love that stuff, when used for its intended purpose, that is) all over me. *Sigh*
Friday night I ended up going to my sister's house for dinner. We're eight years apart (I'm younger) and for reasons I won't go into right now, didn't see each other for a long stretch of time spanning most of the middle of our lives. So now when I see her with her kids and see what an awesome person and mother and wife and woman she is, I can't help but wish we could turn time back so I can see the journey she went through to get there. It's like a blackout...I remember her as a young teenager...and I know her now. It's like I blinked and we grew up. Just like that. But she's one of my favorite people now, as is my other sister who is ten years older than me and likewise as awesome, and I'm just glad I get to see them now :)
This isn't a pithy or sarcastic post. Sorry about that. I think pithy and sarcastic stayed in bed, knowing full well how idiotic it is to get up at 6:30 a.m. ON A SUNDAY. Oy.
Happy football watching!!
Green Bee
Thursday, January 10, 2008
This and that
This: So after work I decided to be diligent (a rare feat) and stop at the grocery store on my way home from work. I live in the Chicago area, which as of this afternoon has been blanketed by a persistent, annoying drizzle+ (as drizzly as you can get without being outright rain). Upon exiting my car to enter said store, the "cart guy" (not sure what the official title would be...but, you know, the unlucky bastard who is sent to retrieve the carts...weather be damned) offers me, and a few other about-to-be-patrons the option to "grab a cart" before entering the store. All I could think was "Yeah, I want a soaking wet cart to fill up with cardboard containers that will absorb the moisture and spoil the food inside. Brilliant. I LOVE wasting money." What I said was, "No, thanks." Score one for civility. And one for utter stupidity.
That: I am offiically in love with Netflix. I am currently in the throes of a Dexter, Season 1 marathon and, I must say, for a gal who only has basic cable, this rocks! I admit, I am the ultimate lazy person, so having a DVD delievered to my doorstep is akin to staying in bed all day -- heaven! Now, if there was just a way to do the same with books (you know, to read and mail back), I'd be in utter heaven!
The Other: I work in a very small office. Not even 9 folks total. To top that off, we "office share." Which means I'm surrounded by folks who aren't even a part of my company -- I'm a marketing copywriter and these people are all accountants -- so you can imagine the utter torture I experience on a daily basis. I sit in a cube (yes, I am a prairie dog) across from on said accountant who, every time she sneezes sounds like she's throwing up. I have no idea how this marvel of modern science developed...but every time I say "bless you" I feel like an idiot...and like I should offer her some Pepto or something. Not sure why this irks me (like I should talk...I sneeze so loudly that I'm prone to knock down walls), but it does.
Ok...so here's my funny website recommendation of the day (or week, or month, depending on how often I keep this up): www.superawesomecarnivalbears.net.
Catch you on the flipside.
The Bee Still Known as Green
That: I am offiically in love with Netflix. I am currently in the throes of a Dexter, Season 1 marathon and, I must say, for a gal who only has basic cable, this rocks! I admit, I am the ultimate lazy person, so having a DVD delievered to my doorstep is akin to staying in bed all day -- heaven! Now, if there was just a way to do the same with books (you know, to read and mail back), I'd be in utter heaven!
The Other: I work in a very small office. Not even 9 folks total. To top that off, we "office share." Which means I'm surrounded by folks who aren't even a part of my company -- I'm a marketing copywriter and these people are all accountants -- so you can imagine the utter torture I experience on a daily basis. I sit in a cube (yes, I am a prairie dog) across from on said accountant who, every time she sneezes sounds like she's throwing up. I have no idea how this marvel of modern science developed...but every time I say "bless you" I feel like an idiot...and like I should offer her some Pepto or something. Not sure why this irks me (like I should talk...I sneeze so loudly that I'm prone to knock down walls), but it does.
Ok...so here's my funny website recommendation of the day (or week, or month, depending on how often I keep this up): www.superawesomecarnivalbears.net.
Catch you on the flipside.
The Bee Still Known as Green
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Virgin Bee
My good friend, and STELLAR author, Stacey Klemstein convinced me to start a blog. Hence, this Virgin Green Bee post. Thank you, Stace. BTW...you can peruse the talented Mrs. Klemstein's site at www.staceyklemstein.com.
Two things you should know about the Green Bee right off the bat. 1) I'm a total dork! 2) I'm jaded as all get out. Ok, knowing this should explain anything you read on this blog from here on out.
Thought for the day: You can lead a horse to water...but be warned...they're pretty smelly when they're wet.
Totally bewildered by my dime-turn thought process? Join the club.
More to come from the no-longer virgin blogger. Thank you for being gentle. It was my first time, after all.
Green Bee
Two things you should know about the Green Bee right off the bat. 1) I'm a total dork! 2) I'm jaded as all get out. Ok, knowing this should explain anything you read on this blog from here on out.
Thought for the day: You can lead a horse to water...but be warned...they're pretty smelly when they're wet.
Totally bewildered by my dime-turn thought process? Join the club.
More to come from the no-longer virgin blogger. Thank you for being gentle. It was my first time, after all.
Green Bee
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